iSay Goodbye
by poetryknight
Summary: Sam is moving away, but there's something Freddie has to tell her first... Seddie, fluff at the end.
1. There Is No Ham Flavored Gum

**Chapter One: There Is No Ham Flavored Gum**

**(Freddie's POV)**

"**Carly, have you seen Sam today?" I asked as she had her head buried in her locker. I heard a muffled "no", and leaned back against the lockers, wondering what had kept Sam from school on a day like today. For one, it was a Thursday, and everyone knows that Thursdays are 'Meat Madness' in the cafeteria, and Sam NEVER misses that. On top of that, today was the day Sam had promised to give Gibby the mother of all swirlies for making the mistake of actually throwing a dodge ball at her in gym. **

**But it looked like none of that would happen now, as Sam was nowhere to be found. I sighed and Carly's head finally popped out of her locker, eyeing me suspiciously. **

"**Why?" she asked. Then, remembering what this day was, she corrected herself. "I mean. why do you care?"**

**I thought about it; why do I care? I mean, sure, she's my friend and all, but she makes it her job to make me constantly miserable. What do I care if Gibby escapes impending doom at least for one more day? What do I care if Sam misses her mountain of meat for lunch? **

"**I don't" I finally answered. "Just curious." **

"**Well, I've texted her like five times and she answered yet." Carly said. Then, as if on cue, her phone vibrated. **

"**Never mind…that's her now!" I waited as she read the text and watched her face go from excitement to confusion to worry. When she was done, I asked her what Sam had said. **

"**She said to come over to her house after school." **

"**What for?" Sam never asked us to go to her house unless it was to help clean or room. Maybe she actually was sick and wanted Carly to take care of her. Or maybe she was just trying to get out of doing her chores again. Either way, I was skeptical. **

"**She said she has something important to tell us…" Carly replied. I shrugged. **

"**Probably found out they invented ham-flavored gum or something." I joked, Carly rolling her eyes at me. **

"**Whatever. We're going." **

**I groaned. I didn't really want to go; it was probably gonna be a bunch of girl talk. Sam probably didn't want me there anyway. But I knew I had no choice - Carly would get me to go eventually. **

"**Fine." I mumbled, and hurried off to class. **

* * *

**We got to Sam's house in record time; Carly made Spencer pick us up and drive like a demon to get to Sam's. The car had barely stopped before Carly jumped out and ran to the front door, banging on it loudly. **

"**Sam! We're here!" By the time the door started to open I had caught up with Carly. The person who opened the door was Sam, but not the Sam I was used to. She was still in pajama bottoms and a light blue T-shirt, her hair all mussed up. Her eyes were red and puffy as if she had been crying - definitely NOT the Sam I knew. **

"**Oh my god, are you okay?" Carly said, hurrying into Sam's house and pulling her to sit n the couch. I entered hesitantly, closing the door behind me slowly, finding this situation a little awkward. What was wrong? **

"**Yeah… it's just…. What are you looking at, Fredbag?" Sam shot at me, and I realized I must have been staring at her while I was assessing the situation. I dropped my gaze to the floor. **

"**Sam…. What is it?" Carly said in a firm but caring voice. Sam's gaze softened and she turned back towards Carly. **

"**I… I'm moving." Sam said flatly, then sank her head into Carly's shoulder. **

**I wasn't sure if I had heard her right. My mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour but my heart stood still, and after a minute or so I realized I was forgetting to breathe. Sam was moving? **

**This couldn't be happening. **


	2. Getting the Weight Off

**Chapter Two: Getting the Weight Off**

(Freddie's POV)

I couldn't believe it. Sam was moving? Why? Where to? I had so many questions I wanted to ask, but the swirl of emotions I was feeling got the best of me.

"I… uh… I gotta go…." I stuttered out. Before Carly or Sam had a chance to respond, I bolted. Spencer was still waiting in the car, but I didn't want to be around anybody right now. I ran right on by, ignoring his voice as he called after me.

And so I ran, all the way back to Bushwell Plaza. By the time I got back to my apartment I was exhausted, and I collapsed into a heap on the couch. My face, buried in a pillow, became hot and tears started to pour from my eyes.

What was wrong with me? I didn't even get this upset when I thought Carly was moving. And here I was, bawling because my worst enemy was leaving. At least, we were supposed to be worst enemies. Anymore, I wasn't so sure that was the case. I definitely had strong feeling for her; I just wasn't sure if they were good or bad.

Why do girls have to make everything so complicated?

I moaned because my head was starting to hurt. Good thing my mom wasn't home yet or she'd be shoving pills down my throat by now. I got up and washed my face off, then plopped down on my bed. I had to figure this all out if it killed me.

It didn't take long before the answer started to come to me. It was a thought that had entered my head before, but one I had always shoved aside. In the back of my head I knew it was true, though, I just didn't want to admit it. But, giving in to the ache in my brain, I finally admitted the cold hard truth to myself.

"I'm in love with Sam Puckett."

Saying the words was like a ten-ton weight being lifted off me. I said it again, and it felt just as good. I kept saying it over and over, each time finding the feel of it rolling off my tongue a thrilling experience. _I have to tell her, I thought. _

_No. She probably thinks I'm a jerk after I ran off like that. And besides, there's no way I would be able to admit it to her in person - I don't think she would hurt me (not too badly anyway), but I doubt I could choke out the words. But I had to tell her before she left. _

_That's when I noticed my camera and an idea stormed through my brain. I grabbed it and hooked it up to my computer, positioned it just so, and sat down in front of it. Then, taking a deep breath, I started saying the last words Sam would ever hear me say. _

"_Hey, Sam. There's a lot I need to tell you…." _


	3. Stupid Freddie

**Chapter Three: Stupid Freddie…**

(Freddie's POV)

Today was the day; maybe the last time I would see Sam again. Carly had filled me in on all the details. Sam's mom had started dating some mechanic guy, and he got a job offer somewhere in Nebraska. Half-way across the country! Carly decided to throw Sam a going away party and I was going whether I liked it or not.

I was really anxious as I stood outside the Shay's apartment. I didn't know what I was going to say, and as far as my gift goes…well, I would be relieved when I got this over with.

I gathered myself and knocked. Carly answered shortly and I entered the apartment, which was full of people from school. This was bigger than her birthday party.

Most of the party seems like a dream now. I know I talked to a few people, munched nervously on carrot sticks all night, and most of all, tried my best to avoid Sam. That last part wasn't as hard as I thought, as Sam seemed to be avoiding me as well.

Finally it came time for presents. I did my best to be the last one in line, even ducking into the bathroom for a few minutes. By the time I got up to where Sam was sitting, most of the kids had already given their gifts, said their goodbyes and left. The only ones still in the apartment were me, Carly, Sam, Spencer, Gibby and a couple others.

"Here…" I said, extending the box that was covered in Christmas wrapping paper. Sam eyed it suspiciously.

"I, uh…. My mom likes to recycle, so…" I stumbled over my words. Sam finally took the box and began to open it.

"No wait!" I said, and she stopped.

"What?"

"Don't open that yet. Not here."

"Why, what did you do to it?"

"Nothing. Just… wait until you get home." Sam stared at me, and then my present.

"Whatever" she finally said, and tossed it into a bag she had been putting all of her gifts into. The last couple of kids - and Gibby - gave Sam their gifts and left. There was an awkward silence as Carly closed the door behind Gibby. We all thought this would be the last time we would see each other, and it was not a good feeling.

"I should… go, and let you two say goodbye." I said, trying to find an excuse to leave before I broke down again. It was already getting hard to hold the tears back. I approached Sam.

"It's been… fun." I said awkwardly.

'Yeah.." Sam replied. She moved in as if to hug me, but stopped and patted my shoulder instead. "Nice knowin' ya, kid."

I smiled weakly and was pleased to see her return the favor. I could feel my eyes begin to water, and so without another word, I quickly made my leave.

* * *

(Sam's POV)

Stupid Freddie.

Of course the nub would spazz out; it's what dorks like him do in these situations. I mean, sure, I've always been hard on him, but did he have to run out like that when I told him I was moving? Or avoid me all weekend, and at the party? It's not like I was going to be mean to him then. Well, not as much as usual.

When I got home I made a b-line for my room, tossing the bag of gifts I had gotten on the floor and plopping onto my bed. A couple of the presents fell out, including one that was unopened.

_Oh yeah, Freddie's gift, _I thought, and I crawled out of my bed to get it. He had been obsessive about me not opening it at the party. Why?

I tore the wrapping off like I always do; Freddie's psycho mom may like to recycle, but Sam Puckett just likes presents. Underneath the paper was a box, which was open in no time flat.

"A DVD?" I asked aloud, holding the disc up in front of me. It was one of those you use to make your own videos and stuff. Freddie had written "Goodbye Sam" on the front in red marker. _Probably him saying how glad he is to get me off his back. _

I popped it in the player and watched as Freddie appeared on screen. You could tell he shot it in his room by himself. He was sitting down, staring right into the camera. Then he began to speak.

"Hey, Sam. There's a lot I need to tell you…." he dipped his head and took a deep breath, then looked back into the camera. "I know you probably think I'm a jerk for avoiding you all weekend." _Got that right, nub. _"But it was only because I couldn't stand to see you…"

_Gee thanks, I thought. _

"_No, that sounded bad." He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to think of the right thing to say. Man, he looked hot when he did that. Wait, pretend you didn't hear that. _

"_What I meant was, I didn't think I could face you without…without breaking down." I could see him fighting back tears. I felt my heart flutter, and I really didn't understand why. _

"_Look, I know we're "sworn enemies" and all…" he said, making the air quotes and everything. I smiled. "But we're also best friends. And recently… well, maybe I think that we can… I mean. I think I l…." I realized I wasn't breathing. I was glued to every word that was coming from his mouth. Since when could the dork make me feel like this? _

_Freddie was tripping over his words. He took a deep breath and regrouped himself. _

"_I think I…no, I KNOW that I…" he paused and looked intently into the camera. I found myself leaning forward in anticipation. _

"_I love you, Sam." that did it - he buried his face in his hand to hide his tears as soon as those beautiful words left his lips. And then it was over. The screen went black. I sat there, speechless, breathless, my heart feeling like it was going a hundred miles an hour and not at all, all at once. All of the feeling I had been holding inside, trying so hard to keep in check for God knows how long, all seemed to bubble out of me at once. I began to cry, tears born of mixed emotions. Happy that Freddie had said the words I never thought I would here, sad that I had to leave it all behind, angry at myself for not telling him how I felt…. _

_I wiped my hand across my face, taking the wetness from my cheeks and whispered the only thing I could think to say. _

"_Stupid Freddie…" _


	4. Not Another Chain Letter

**Chapter Four: Not Another Chain Letter…**

(Freddie's POV)

I almost didn't feel like going back to school that Monday. I felt more like crawling up in a corner somewhere and never going anywhere again. But my mom can be quite persuasive when throwing threats of tick baths around, so here I was, staring blankly into my locker.

"Hey Freddie" I heard Carly say as she walked up behind me. I turned and regarded her half-heartedly.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm just…. Yeah, I'm fine." I lied, closing my locker. "We should get to class." I started to walk by her, but she raised her hand to stop me.

"Look, I know things are going to be different without Sam." she tried to comfort me. It wasn't working. "But she wouldn't want us to be all depressed. We can still visit her sometimes."

I nodded to at least show Carly that I was listening, but nothing she said could cheer me up. I had wasted all that time never telling her how I felt. And now that she knew - if she bothered to watch my video, that is - she would be hundreds of miles a way. I felt helpless. I felt terrible.

And that's when I heard it. The two words that made my heart jump to my throat.

"Mama's back!" Sam's voice echoed through my ears and pounded into my brain. I froze, afraid to turn around and face her, afraid tat I was hearing things. Then Carly's face lit up and I knew this was for real.

Carly ran past me and I managed to turn around to see her engulf Sam in a huge hug. I couldn't help but smile myself.

"I thought you were moving!" Carly squealed.

"I was!"

"Then why are you here?"

"Meh, my mom's boyfriend got arrested so he didn't get the job after all. So we're staying!" Carly squealed again and wrapped Sam in another hug. I stepped forward.

"Benson.." Sam said to me. We stared at each other awkwardly for a moment.

"Puckett…" I answered. We both suddenly found our feet quite interesting.

"Look, I…" we both said at once, then stopped once we realized it. Carly looked between us, confused.

"Is there something going on here?"

"No!" we both protested. Carly was about to say something else, but the bell rang. Me and Sam bolted before the interrogation could begin.

I avoided Sam the rest of the day. Or maybe she avoided me. In any case, I didn't see her, and I was relieved to make it home. I booted up my computer and looked for a game - any game - to play, so I could get my mind off things.

_She did watch it, _I thought to myself. _That's why things were so awkward. _

And now she was back.

I thought I would be happy, and in a way I was. But I was also scared; scared she wouldn't return those feelings, scared she would torture me more, or worse - just cut me out of her life altogether.

I gave up on finding a game; nothing looked that appealing. I decided to check my e-mail instead. Most of it was the usual - junk, mom forwarding me information about hygiene, more junk, another one of Gibby's stupid chain mails, and more junk. But then one caught my eye. The subject was 'You Should Know'.

It was from Sam.

I opened it quickly, my heart about to beat out of my chest. I had a feeling that whatever was in this e-mail would change the future of our relationship, for better or worse.

It was a video, so I pressed play immediately. It looked similar to the video I had made; Sam was sitting down, looking into the camera. I held my breath as she began to speak.

"Hey… Freddie." She offered a sweet smile, which was quite a change for Sam. "So, I watched you video and all I can say is…holy chiz, Benson."

I dropped my head. She did think I was stupid. But she went on.

"Why didn't you tell me before? That's the kind of thing a person oughta know…" she laughed, and my heart sank. How dumb was I for thinking that she could ever feel the same about me?

"Actually, I don't have a right to say that. I haven't exactly been honest with you." I looked back at the screen, my heart racing once again. What? What could she have been hiding?

"The truth is…" she trailed off. _No, tell me!_

"_Well, if you want to know how I really feel, just turn around." I furled my eyebrows in confusion. Slowly, I turned around, and nearly fell out of my chair at what I saw. _

_Sam was sitting on my bed, smiling softly at me. I tried to stumble out words, but it didn't work right…_

"_Sam, I… I mean… How did you…?" _

"_I snuck in the window while you were on your computer." She explained. Of course. Sam was practically a ninja when it came to getting into places. I ran my hands through my hair, unsure of what to say. _

"_Look, about the video…" _

"_No, don't say anything." She said, standing up and putting her finger to my lips. I swear my heart skipped a beat at her touch…_

"_Okay." She said, sighing as if preparing to jump off a cliff or something. "The truth is that… I've liked you for a while now…" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This was incredible!_

"_I just never thought you could feel that way about me. I guess what I'm trying to say is… I love you, too." She smiled at me, and my jaw dropped. _

"_Really?" _

"_Really." She said, then wrapped here arms around me. I returned the hug and we stood there for a long moment, taking in everything that had happened the last few days. _

_Suddenly Sam pulled out of the hug and hit me hard on the arm. _

"_Ow! What was that for?!" I asked, shocked. _

"_That was for making me feel stuff!" She answered, and we both fell into laugher and back into each others arms. _

_I was right. Things would be different. And I wouldn't change it for the world. _


	5. A note from your author, the lovable ME

**AUTHOR'S NOTE!!!!**

**Hey, it's me! Just wanted to ask you guys a few question…**

**First, what did you guys think of this story? Like it, love it, hate it, think it was ok? Please leave me a review and let me know!**

**And, for those of you who have read my other stories, which one was your favorite and why?**

**Last, I wanted to ask you guys for any ides you had that you would like to see me write a story about. I'm kind of running on empty right now, so I could use your help! I will try to write as many as I can if it sounds like a good idea!**

**Again, thank you all for reading my stories, I hope I have entertained you and done all of you iCarly fans proud. **


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